Sgt Walt ER Mitty

Day one in the life of Sgt Walt ER Mitty.

"Saved the life of an old woman today by helping her across the road. Wrote it up on my blog to let the world know that Sgt Walt ER Mitty had rescued an old infirm woman from sure death in a horrible automotive accident."

"Gave a homeless man a fiver. Wrote it up to let the world know that I had saved a young man and his family from a life of poverty."

"Got my latest uniform and badge... it's shiny!!! gonna wear it to meet POTUS. Cos he loves seeing people in uniform. Felt a little silly when nobody else... even Marines with twenty years of service were wearing civilian clothes. Still... got a nice pic."

"Stared a motorbike outlaw.. murderer... rapist... terrorist.... right in the eye. Couldn't watch the next episode of 24 to see what happened in hour 7.00am - 8.00am because I've lost the DVD. I love me some Jack Bauer."

"Flew out to "The Sandbox" for some high speed low draft operation. Can't say much about it but got some good representative pics of me training high end operatives. me.. alone... against a humvee... in a scarf... somewhere in the US."

"Got an invite to train some Delta/Seal/Marines. Cos they don't know enough about combat and need to learn from a guy who had less than 9 months in the regular army."

"Got an A for my artwork. I paint nice pictures. May use one to create a certificate or two."

If this resembles you, or you feel it touches a nerve and is designed to insult you then ask yourself why.

You are a bad man Chris

I like it mate

Classic!

HA!

Classic!

Darn, Chris, you suffer from insomnia, too?

http://unarmedanddangerous.com/day-one-in-the-life-of-sgt-walt-er-mitty/

Day 2 in the life of Sgt Walt ER Mitty - Wanger

Infamy Infamy they've all got it infamy!!! Just received word that someone in the UK said a naughty word about me. This guy is obviously an agent of the dark forces ranged against me (kinda like SMERSH or COBRA or something...maybe like Skeletor even!!) These guys are trying to "DESTROY ME" because I am making the world safe against rapists, murderers, terrorists and other such nasty people who need to be KILLED KILLED KILLED.

I peed in my pants a little when I found out. Trotted out my usual line of delusional paranoid bullshit and let them know that Sgt Walt ER Mitty-WANGER stands ready to protect this universe against the evil nasties until such time as he crosses the rainbow bridge to Valhalla.

Dipped my big toe in the Atlantic ocean today. It's the foundation for my next course "How to survive hostile Oceanic environments. £125 per day... 50% non-refundable deposit." Wrote it up to let people know that my survival skills had been developed to such an extent that I was able to walk away from the Atlantic without anything more debilitating than a chilled tootsie. Fuck Aquaman... I am the King of the Ocean.

Bumped my noggin again getting out of the car. Third time this week... it really hurts since I stopped wearing the crash helmet everwhere I go. Developed a new "environmental defence course... £125 per day.. 50% non-refundable deposit" It consists of showing people for four hours how smashing someone's head against a hard object can cause damage. Banged my own head against a wall for hundreds of hours developing the idea with no side-effects except I now dribble when I talk.

Got my new Captain America underpants today. Was nice to change the old pair after wearing them since I was six years old. They were starting to pinch a bit and even my mommy says they were a bit wiffy. I think that's just the bullshit I constantly surround myself with.

Be a hard target biyatches....

I love the smell of a Kenneth Williams reference in the morning!

PMSL