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Finally got some writing on the internet

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Post  Jagunco Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:34 am

Odd as this sounds I had a run in with the boss about a month ago which resulted... well actually it started with her telling me I was unsuitable for promotion at work.

That's by the by but I mention it because it was the kick up the arse I needed to started getting seriously into my fiction writing.

In the interum I've been working on a few short stories. I got one finshed which I intend to send to a few publishers and another that I've put on a writing forum. I still have a 3/4 finished novel in the wings that I'm sort of breaking from just to get a fresh prespective.

I have no iullusions that I'm the next Tolken or anything, but it eases my soul that while I rot at yon place I have a project I can put my mind to and see some results....

That and if Teapot can do it I can defo do it Razz lol

Any hoo here's the link if you're interested.

http://www.writingforums.com/fantasy-sci-fi-horror/132552-first-part-short-story.html

Please let me know what you think

Jagunco
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Post  Wayne Harrison Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:24 am

I'll go read it right away! Thankyou for sharing!
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Post  Wayne Harrison Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:59 am

Hi Mate,

Critique coming up!!!

Is this the first or second draft?

It's got a good foundation. Early drafts of work are often much different than the finished article. Save if it's a professional. for a look at a pro's first draft i suggest reading Julian Assange The Unauthorized autobiography. Just for the fact it was published as a first draft (maybe erroneously btw according to Julian).

I've been taught, and found that to ask opinions of early drafts is counter-productive. to the writers confidence. and it's important the writer has the confidence to write. anything. It of course gets sorted out in the processes. And, the processes vary from writer to writer. Any critique you get from others, who obviously don't know your own personal processes/order or writing, may really be unimportant. I take care to only show my wife, and mentor/agent my book to date. That's me though. My way is hardly the right way. If even there is one.

Just some advice then for ya, fwiw.

  • Make the reader emotionally connect with the story/characters
  • The reader can easily do this by seeing, feeling, tasting, touching = fully experience the events. all events are important. In this way, the body of anyones draft can be filled out easier. I'd rather over detail things, and then trim it. but that is me.
  • conversations. I read a book on Chicago project gangs recently. In 24 hours. Largely because i identified, and was emotionally involved with the people in it. And i was this way because there were lots of conversations.
  • Opening words are what draws a reader in. Identifying with something they relate to, such as the weather/feelings, is good. The subject matter of the opening paragraph works, i''d suggest making it more innocent for a sentence or two, then going into the exact detail you speak about. with the above points.
  • We can all over-use the word 'I' when speaking bout ourselves. Experimenting with alternatives is good.
  • Oh, showing previews of ones work to others, particularly online on others sites, may turn off publishers.
  • also folks may get ones idea.
  • And there are issues regarding copyright law once material is put onto another site. Such as forums even. Many assume copyright is ultimate. It depends.
  • i like the way you have blended fact with fiction. It is always good to write even fiction that one would know about. John Grisham an example. Or Chris Ryan.


No criticism from me. I like your idea, and enjoyed reading it. Books are huge work, as i'm sure you know yourself. Really rewarding though. Don't' 'cha think?

warmest wishes

Wayne
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Post  Jagunco Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:32 am

First draft after I smoothed over some GLARING errors. I actually haven't finished it yet. I do have one that is finished but I am planning on sending that off to a publishers so as you say have not put any of it on the internet.

I never knew you were a writer.

Thanks for the advice I think everyone wants me to sharpen the beginning up.... I may set the scene a bit too long?

I must admit one of the reasons I put it on there was basically for a confidence boost, as well as trying to get an outside prepective on it. But I VERY rarely let people look at my work and was terrfied of putting any of it on show. This was sort of the PNR
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Post  Socrates Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:15 am

Hi mate.

I like reading good speculative fiction from authors like Neil Gaiman and Neal Stephenson. One of the things that they do before writing anything down is a huge amount of work inventing a credible alternative universe. They then tell the story within that world and slowly let the reader work out the context for themselves.

For example, take the first sentence from Anatham, a great book from Stephenson that maths/philosophy/hard science geeks love with a deep passion:

"'Do your neighbours burn one another alive?'" was how Fraa Orolo began his conversation with Artisan Fleck."

Who is Fraa Orolo? Who is Artisan Fleck? Why is Orolo interviewing Fleck? Why doesn't he know anything about his society whatsoever? Who is the narrator? Is he with Orolo or Fleck?

The reader will eventually find out all the answers, but they will have to stick with the book and do a little bit of work. *Something* happens near the beginning of the book, but it takes the characters hundreds of pages to work out exactly what it is and several hundred more pages to work out a plan and execute it.

As another example, take the beginning of Gaiman's Neverwhere, a truly fantastic book:

"She had been running for four days now, a harum-scarum tumbling flight through passages and tunnels. She was hungry, and exhausted, and more tired than a body could stand, and each successive door was proving harder to open. After four days of flight, she had found a hiding place, a tiny stone burrow, under the world, where she would be safe, or so she prayed, and at last she slept."

Who is she? Who is after her? What are the passages, tunnels and doors? What does it mean by under the world? Again, you have to read on to find out.

Now I am not a "writer," but I have been a full-time news reporter for half my life. I have spent the last ten years specialising in off-diary investigative reporting. In this world, the thing that separates the men from the boys is the capacity to rewrite copy that your editor doesn't like.

My advice to you would be to go back to the drawing board and come up with a plan to tell the story within the world you are inventing. Once you have done that, rewrite it a few times. Don't worry if it takes you a couple of years. You shouldn't be in a rush.

Also, manage your expectations. Most published authors have a few manuscripts under the bed before they get anything into print. Don't worry if your first novel isn't up to scratch. Your next one will be better and maybe your third or fourth one will be the one that people want to buy.

Cheers!
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Post  Wayne Harrison Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:57 am

Jagunco wrote:

Thanks for the advice I think everyone wants me to sharpen the beginning up.... I may set the scene a bit too long?

Length isn't issue to me bro. I think others on that forum may have felt it was too long as they weren't engaging enough in the text. As well as the title, the opening must hook to reader. As Soc is saying, they have to want to read on.

If the text is engaging enough one can even begin talking about something off-topic, in detail, and come back to the subject - with it all flowing nicely.

Jagunco wrote:
I must admit one of the reasons I put it on there was basically for a confidence boost, as well as trying to get an outside prepective on it. But I VERY rarely let people look at my work and was terrfied of putting any of it on show. This was sort of the PNR

I know mate. I've been the same. Me, i've always been irritated once i've done it though. The advice, although always from the heart, hasn't been in context. I've wanted to not do that with ya. Soc has gave good advice also. With his ability at creative non-fiction = journalism ( Laughing ), he's got good advice.

Can i suggest though in general, it is also important for your own individual style to come out? Some things are universal, yet much isn't set in stone.

I'm gonna email ya 3 books, if that's cool.

Stephen King: On writing
How to write a damn good thriller
Writing brave and free

Third one is particularly good. Well they all are for different reasons. Now i remember, I've always loved reading. But when i started my book, and read, I of course was reading through a writers eyes. Books take on a different meaning. From looking in-depth at the cover, title, dedications, testimonials, contents, main body, etc. Doing lots of reading, alongside writing, gives me tons of help!

warmest wishes

Wayne
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Post  Socrates Sun Sep 09, 2012 6:08 am

There's some good advice right there.

Also, why not look into creative writing courses at the Open University?

http://www.open.ac.uk/Arts/english/creative-writing.shtml
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Post  Peter Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:56 am

Jagunco, there will be no critique from me as others far more knowledgable on the subject already are doing so.

I just wanted to say "well done fella" and I will be first in the queue for a copy when you get published! Cool

Peter
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Post  Jagunco Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:31 am

thanks Peter that really means a lot to me Smile

Btw what do these letters spell... c - o - f - f - e - e Razz
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Post  Peter Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:15 pm

I know Jagunco its been far too long mate Embarassed

Life is a bit errrm interesting at the minute. I am off "darn sarf" working but hows ya diary for next week?
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Post  Jagunco Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:35 pm

Free most nights but Saturday
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Post  rezbi Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:46 am

Why send it to a publisher?

Self-publish with kindle.

It's the way to go.

You could put up a chapter at a time and charge 99p each.

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Post  Jagunco Sun Oct 07, 2012 3:25 pm

I'm condiersing it but its a second option... atm if I go to a publisher they'll do a lot of the advertising for me... if the publishers don't take my work then I'll self publish


Just to keep you all informed btw I've finished my frist short story (not the one here) and its been liked by the people who've proof read it for me so I'm currently working on a related story. With any luck to be published in a magazine
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Post  Jagunco Sun Oct 21, 2012 4:15 pm

OK just so you all know just submitted my first short story to a magazine. We'll see how it goes!!
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